I Despise Being Forced to Write a Minimum of Words for My Own Story
by Drone person
Summary: Somepony is definitely not happy that his story cannot be submitted to a contest because it does not meet a word length requirement. But if he has any hopes to get into the contest, he'll have to come up with something even longer than he anticipated in order to have it read. This is that story.
1. The Beginning (Read: Stupid Words)

"What do you mean it doesn't meet the requirement?"

The librarian reiterated her previous statement. "You submission doesn't meet all requirements for the event, sir."

Confusion was the only concept that bounced around in his mind. "But I followed them all down to a T! There's no profanity, the grammar and spelling are all correct, the subject matter is neutral—"

"Word length."

"Excuse me?"

The librarian gave a sigh at his thick headedness. "In order to enter a story for our 'Tall Tales from Your Very Own' contest, one of the requirements is that your story has to have a minimum of one thousand words."

The straight answer only met perplexed ears. "I have to have a thousand words in my story just for it to e submitted? What kind of nonsense is that about?"

He was certainly getting on her nerves. "It's to make sure it gives readers enough time to read and analyze the story before voting starts. If it's too short, a lot of ponies would be sitting around being bored for the remainder of the event."

"And they can't just reread them for entertainment?"

"You'd be surprised at the number of ponies who can't control themselves in a contained environment for more than ten minutes."

He gave a weary sigh. "I can submit this now?"

"Look, if you really want to get your story submitted you'll have to at least six hundred and one more words in it. Do that and I'll see if I can squeeze you in."

Whatever ridiculousness was frothing form that pony's mouth, there was no doubt that his story will not be read here until he succumbs to this oppressive 'word length.' Defeated for only the moment, he sulked back home to work on his entry a bit more.

"Let's see, I have four days to work on this before they stop taking entries," he said aloud, pondering how to lengthen his text. "But it's already structured perfectly. If I add anything else it's just gonna ruin the flow." He sat at his desk, parchment and quill still resting he left them, the space below his already completed work looking larger and larger the more he struggled to find a solution.

"Ugh, what am I gonna do? I don't know how to continue this." He slunk his head onto the writing desk, covering with his hooves in an act of embarrassment and failure. "I'm hosed."

After a brief moment of self pity, he shot back up. "No! I won't let this stop me. I'm getting this story in even if I have to write random… things." Just then it dawned on him. "Of course! I know exactly how to make this thing longer…"

Three-and-a-half-days times pass and once again the desk pony's eyes fell upon the aggravating sight of him. "The deadline for entries is almost up," he said dryly.

"I know," he responded, "but believe me when I say this story meets all requirements for submission."

The desk pony sighed as he took the scroll he handed him, hoping this would be the last time he would have to deal with this nuisance. Unrolled the scroll and began reading.


	2. The Middle (Random One Thousand Words)

_The Unfortunate Strife at Sun Crest Cliff_

_By Short Quill_

The luminescent sun lit up the evening sky in a long, expanding vastness of orange space. Through the air a slight breeze blew softly and gently across the grassy green hill side that was Sun Crest Cliff.

Yet as all was silent and serene; as birds happily perched themselves upon the solitary tree that stood at the cliff; as the grass lazily swayed amidst the summer day, there was an air of tension looming surely about the serenity.

For soon the most unfortunate strife would unfold.

The most gracious hazel nut figure of Shimmer Set stood looking out to the horizon. Her mane listed about in the wind, swirling like the cream it was so colored after. From the outside she seemed like the picture of peace, but inside was growing an increasing anxiety and something more.

Her sunset eyes opened with a start as the quiet around her was broken by trespasser behind her. From afar approached the sturdy and experienced white pony, Steadfast Shield. His charcoal mane betrayed his emerald eyes, glistening in the sun. His grizzled face smiled, the sun showing the devastating scar that ran across his lower cheek. As the earthpony drew closer it was apparent that he was trotting towards Shimmer Set.

"Steadfast," she gasped. "But I thought that you had died in the war."

"A fool's blunder, my beloved, for I yet live."

"Steadfast," she continued, but warily. "There is something I must tell you…"

Before she could reveal her secret, however, another figure came about the scene. There came a dashingly dressed unicorn, his handsome light fur and mane shown in the evening glow.

"Shimmer, my darling, I've come for our picnic." His eyes settled on Steadfast Shield. "Who is this?"

"'Darling,'" questioned Steadfast. "Watch your tongue, stranger, for that is my betrothed you speak to."

The unicorn's eyes betrayed confusion. "I'm sorry, but I, Regal Raiment, do believe that she is my love."

Steadfast's felt the pinch of betrayal as he turned to Shimmer Set. "My Sun, you would have relations with this twig of a pony?"

Regal felt offended by such words. "I assure you sir, I am no twig. I am the highest member among my peers in the arts of sword battle."

"Are you now?" Steadfast brandished his blade. "Care to prove that?"

Regal readied his own sword. "I dare say I do, cur."

"Enough of your dribble. Have at you!"

"No, please don't," Shimmer swooned as the battle commenced.

It was all for naught though, as both fell to each other's blade. Shimmer Set ran to each of their chiseled bodies, tears running down from her eyes.

"Oh why have I been so forsaken? For one was the love of my life, and the other was that who gave me my now growing seed. And now he will never get to see his brave, brave fathers, and I will be not of husband."

And so the sun sets over the unfortunate strife of Sun Crest Cliff.

But soon the ground shook like that of a mighty earthquake and some manner of beast was rising up straight from the bottom of the ocean. Shimmer looked upon the gargantuous fright as it soon dawned on her what it was. The great monster was non-other than the Sunflower of Sun Crest Cliff, said only to be a tale told to scare young foals into behaving. It's sharp teeth bare and claws at the ready it charged for the poor pegasus.

With only the sight of two swords by her hooves she quickly made haste for battle. Her wings expanded and she flew upward, narrowly dodging the creature's jagged jaw. Rounding back for its yellow head, she drove one of the blades straight into its eye. The great beast bellowed a roar of pain, swiping for the pegasus as it moved its free hand to yank the embedded sword out of its eye.

But Shimmer Set will not let such a thing recover and quickly flew high. Sword at the ready, heart racing with courage, she plunged downward with the blade, slashing right down the middle of the dreaded evil.

The entire flower split in half and from it poured out streams of lemonade, freshly made with the attention and care of a goddess. The most heavenly looking drink made Shimmer green with envy and she madly dove to sample such delicious delight.

As she indulged herself in the wonderful drink, a heavenly body rose for the remains of the sun flower. Seeing as the pegasus was distracted, it spoke to get her attention.

"Excuse me, ma'am."

Shimmer snapped herself out of her trance and looked towards the mighty being. She gasped as she laid eyes upon the divine being that was Princess Toothbrushtia.

"Hi, I need to get to the train station before morning. Could you point me to where it is. I have to get there so I can be on time for a meeting with the Turnip men to discuss this year's fiscal quarter."

Shimmer, seeing herself in such an unfitting state, quickly readjusted herself and bowed to the mighty toothbrush.

"It would be my honor, your greatness."

"Thanks," Toothbruhstia said. "Hey do you need help with something, by the way? I'd feel bad about not giving you anything in return for helping me."

Shimmer looked back to the corpses of her two beloveds. They had already began decomposing in such a short notice, to the point where only bones remained. A dog quickly jumped from the tree and snatched one of the bones in its jaw and ran off.

"No, I'm fine," said Shimmer as she happily led Toothbrushtia to the nearest train station. "By the way, what's the purpose to our existence?"

"Oh," Toothbrustia said, happily obliging. "Nothing, really. I was bored one day and made all of you for fun.

"Okay then, your graciousness" said Shimmer.

And they all lived happily ever after.

_THE END_


	3. The End (Subtitle: No More Words!)

The librarian reread the story to make sure it met the word length. Then read it again to make sure she wasn't going insane. Then read it once more to make sure this indeed was something a pony wrote.

"Well," Short Quill began, a smirk on his face. "It's good now right?"

The librarian was a little jaded after reading such a thing but quickly readjusted herself in order to respond. "Well technically yes, but…"

"But," Quill quickly interjected, agitated over the sudden hesitation.

"The title, your name, and the 'The End' don't actually count. Your still twelve words short."

"They do count." Quill said simply.

"Oh for the love of. No, they don't. What makes you think so?"

"I reread your little 'word length' rule. It didn't say what the words had to be, just that there had to be one thousand." He quickly took a peak at his own work. "And last time I counted, that's a thousand words, exactly."

The librarian was baffled, dumbfounded, and utterly aggravated at this pony's annoying determination to get into this event. Yelling and strangling him with his own work was a very popular idea to do. But then a thought crossed her mind. If she just allowed this small technicality to go through, she would never have to deal with the likes of him again. And technically the story did meet the requirements.

"Fine, your entry is accepted." She handed Quill back his story. "Be here in the morning tomorrow and we'll show where you'll be set up."

Beaming with joy and elation, Quill stuffed his magnum opus into his saddle bag and gave the librarian a hoof shake. "Thank you very much, Ms. Sparkle. I promise to be here right in the morning."

As he began to trot off, Twilight's head fell upon the desk, her groan muffled by the wood it was made out of. Her assistant came down from putting away some books, wondering what was causing her problems. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, Spike," she moaned as she slowly lifted her aching head back up. "Just had to deal with a walking migraine was all."

As Short Quill left the Ponyville library, he mumbled something under his breath.

"I despise being forced to write a minimum of words for my own story."


End file.
